my grandmother

Its been a week since ive posted. Last Wednesday my grandmother passed away. She would have been 97 on May 2nd (or is it the 3rd... i could never keep it straight one was my mothers bday the others hers) This news was more upsetting to me than i expected. I really didn't talk to nanny all that much recently, i am just not good at talking on the phone to people. But i loved her dearly and she is so much a part of who i am that i feel like ive lost a part of me!

We left thursday evening for the funeral, drove late, then finished the drive on friday. We didn't make it for the visitation friday night but i was there for the funeral saturday. it was heartbreaking. I know all my cousins feel the same as me. She was an incredible woman who played a big role in our lives. She was just Nanny... and that was a pretty neat person.

After the funeral we went to those places that i probably wont see again for a long time. We went to the McGraw farm where i spent alot of time as a kid, we saw the sandstone falls... they are so pretty and we went up to sandstone where my mother and grandmother grew up.

Saturday night my cousins and I met at dairy queen and we laughed and joked around and enjoyed each others company. I haven't seen some of them for a decade!

Sunday we drove all day, monday we got to zippys at about 3 pm... where we found out that we had to work that night! let me tell you at 10:30 as we were leaving ralph and i were both dead tired.

yesterday morning i was at the store at 7 am to do a large order for the school and worked till 4. then had to drive to lufkin to get stuff for the store... by 10 pm i was in bed and told ralph... im going to be sick for the next 12 hours! I have caught a miserable cold on the way... the drive home and this crazy work stuff since has been murder!

so i have 3 more hours to be sick! lol.

My grandmother (mom's mom) was a neat lady. Most of my life she owned a store where she sold groceries, beer, bait, souvenirs, plants, you name it. It was a neat old country store that my family visited 3 times a year. She lived above the store. I think i get my workaholicness from nanny. She never left her store, opening it at 5 am and closing at midnight or later. She was there even though she had numerous employees (most of whom were my cousins) who were capable of running it and my uncle as a manager. But from the center of her universe, from behind that counter... she oversaw us grandkids growing up. I guess for me, through all the years, as a kid, as that teenager who didn't have a mother and who was getting in trouble, to being in college and finding myself... nanny always knew what was going on in my life... she was always there with some story or advice that would help put my world into perspective.

I know although she didn't always approve of my life or choices, she always loved me. I guess before she died, i really didn't think about that much... i just took that love for granted because it was never an overt thing... now that shes gone, i can see it. I can feel it, i can look back and see a woman who showed love in a very simple way, by always being there, by being a constant in my life a place i could always return to.

I am going to miss my grandmother. I know she lived a full life and at 96 she was ready to go... but i wasn't ready to lose that piece of me.