Wednesday, April 28, 2010

my grandmother

Its been a week since ive posted. Last Wednesday my grandmother passed away. She would have been 97 on May 2nd (or is it the 3rd... i could never keep it straight one was my mothers bday the others hers) This news was more upsetting to me than i expected. I really didn't talk to nanny all that much recently, i am just not good at talking on the phone to people. But i loved her dearly and she is so much a part of who i am that i feel like ive lost a part of me!

We left thursday evening for the funeral, drove late, then finished the drive on friday. We didn't make it for the visitation friday night but i was there for the funeral saturday. it was heartbreaking. I know all my cousins feel the same as me. She was an incredible woman who played a big role in our lives. She was just Nanny... and that was a pretty neat person.

After the funeral we went to those places that i probably wont see again for a long time. We went to the McGraw farm where i spent alot of time as a kid, we saw the sandstone falls... they are so pretty and we went up to sandstone where my mother and grandmother grew up.

Saturday night my cousins and I met at dairy queen and we laughed and joked around and enjoyed each others company. I haven't seen some of them for a decade!

Sunday we drove all day, monday we got to zippys at about 3 pm... where we found out that we had to work that night! let me tell you at 10:30 as we were leaving ralph and i were both dead tired.

yesterday morning i was at the store at 7 am to do a large order for the school and worked till 4. then had to drive to lufkin to get stuff for the store... by 10 pm i was in bed and told ralph... im going to be sick for the next 12 hours! I have caught a miserable cold on the way... the drive home and this crazy work stuff since has been murder!

so i have 3 more hours to be sick! lol.

My grandmother (mom's mom) was a neat lady. Most of my life she owned a store where she sold groceries, beer, bait, souvenirs, plants, you name it. It was a neat old country store that my family visited 3 times a year. She lived above the store. I think i get my workaholicness from nanny. She never left her store, opening it at 5 am and closing at midnight or later. She was there even though she had numerous employees (most of whom were my cousins) who were capable of running it and my uncle as a manager. But from the center of her universe, from behind that counter... she oversaw us grandkids growing up. I guess for me, through all the years, as a kid, as that teenager who didn't have a mother and who was getting in trouble, to being in college and finding myself... nanny always knew what was going on in my life... she was always there with some story or advice that would help put my world into perspective.

I know although she didn't always approve of my life or choices, she always loved me. I guess before she died, i really didn't think about that much... i just took that love for granted because it was never an overt thing... now that shes gone, i can see it. I can feel it, i can look back and see a woman who showed love in a very simple way, by always being there, by being a constant in my life a place i could always return to.

I am going to miss my grandmother. I know she lived a full life and at 96 she was ready to go... but i wasn't ready to lose that piece of me.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

No Baby Yet

they went to the hospital again yesterday. She keeps having contractions that are 5 minutes apart. The hospital is 45 minutes away so they go... but each time they stop the contractions and send her home because shes not dilating yet. So... still no baby.

They left the 3 yr old wesley with us when they went. Boy howdy can that boy throw a fit because his mamma isn't here! We finally got him settled down and he ate pidda (pizza). When we had to go to town we took him up to travis' and bridgette watched him until they got home. It was cool pulling into their driveway, trevor and landon were outside and they came running up to paw paw and mimi all excited about a butterfly net they had. lol we have 3 three year old grandchildren! (2 of them step) How cool is that? They all three are all boy too... just cute as can be. Wesley couldn't say my name, so he started calling me mimi (that is what faith called me when i used to watch her) so a bunch of little boys running around calling me mimi is neat.

We did the cowboy poetry show last night. We always do two shows of just poets calling in and reciting during cowboy poetry week. We had 24 call in last night. those shows exhaust me more than anything. We dont do alot of talking but i look up each number and then have to keep a full switchboard straight. There is also no break where i can walk around or take my eyes off the computer... just one caller after another. We are doing one again wednesday night. I like doing the shows, but will be glad when that one is over! lol.

I said the other day we had alot of stress. Well... one of the big ones is between the store and home we had almost 1200 in light bills. We had a slow weekend and we almost didn't make it. that was stressful but we pulled it all together and im not sitting in the dark. Today i have to deal with sales tax. I screwed that up and now we are behind. I am working on getting payment arrangements on it, but im having trouble getting two of the peices that they need to request that. I also have to deal with food issues, we cut our order really short to make the light bill, now i have to figure out what i need to get by till i get my next food order. So... have solved one problem, still have several others brewing that i need to deal with.

I have faith that we will make it thru all of this.

I have today off to go to lufkin, ralph and i work tonight... so have to get my day started!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Doing Nothing

It is hard to not do anything! I decided yesterday to forget the todo list and do nothing all day. That is tough! lol. i did clean the kitchen and sweep the floors... but other than that i played on the internet and ralph and i had a john wayne festival.

We need to pay the tv bill... after we pay the electric. We only have DIY network and there is only so much of that one can watch. I do like that the satalite company leaves one or two channels that aren't infomercials on when they cut us off! to entertain ourselves... we borrowed catys game system and watched movies. It wouldn't play the ones i wanted to watch, so we watched old john wayne movies all day. The bill will get paid when it becomes a priority. (which tv is rarely a priority around here... other than yesterday who has time)

I accomplished what i wanted. I feel rested and rejuvinated today. I really was exhausted from two weeks of a busy schedule. I start another crazy schedule this week. Im working alot of hours to reduce the labor costs at the restaurant so we can get caught up on some bills. Didn't help that this weekend was really slow.

Oh, i also started the order sheets for the store... see, it really is hard to do nothing!

Today ralph is off horseshoeing before the rain hits. I have to open the store, he works the night shift. I may just work the double since he is horseshoeing and that physical labor is enough work for one day.

A guy on facebook posted that men should look at their women with amazement everyday. I like the thought. However... it places responsibility on men and there is some responsibility on us. Its hard for a man to be amazed by someone who is nagging them or who is snippy all the time, or a woman who doesn't value them. We also need to admire, respect and be amazed by the one we are with. Im not perfect at this one... although ralph is my hero and i find him absolutely amazing and wonderful, its hard not keep the stress of life from overshadowing that and you end up spending the day snipping at each other. Also... its about forgiveness, forgiving them for not always being your superhero and heaven forbid they might be human.

ok... time to get productive again and dive into my busy week. Hope yall have a blessed sunday.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

A day off

I get a day off, one where I have nothing planned! Its been a hard week, I have been leaving the house around 9 am and getting home around 10 for the last 6 days.

So... a day off with nothing planned... sounds wonderful.

On the other hand, one day off i often frustrate myself... there is so much i want to do and need to do today. here is my list of what i need to do one of these days off....

1. I desperately need to catch up on paperwork. Actually this will probably be the priority today since some tax reports are due Monday.

2. I need to unpack some boxes still from my move in December. This is also a priority since there are receipts and paperwork in them that we need to take to the accountant! It is also a priority to get these boxes out of the way so that i can accomplish the next one...

3. I want to have my storage unit cleared out by the 15th of next month, which means i have 4 weekends to get it done. I got the unit because i had appliances that the kids would need and no place to put them here. It was half a moving truck full of stuff. But Caty has taken the appliances, what is left is stuff i didn't think i would have room for and a bunch of restaurant stuff. I plan on getting one truck load a week, putting it away during the week and making room for the next truck load. Honestly, I need the spare bedroom that the kids are using but i think i can squeeze most of it into the garage... i just cant stand paying for my stuff to sit in a room somewhere else!

4. finish something in the house. The laminate floor isn't finished because the fish tank needs to be moved. (it is a gazillion gallon tank with one lonely fish in it) I would love to put more fish in it but it just doesn't seem like the best use of my limited resources... lol. But i do have to move it and im not certain where im going with it. Well, i see where its going to go when the house is finished, but we dont have living room furniture yet and that is a part of where it goes. but i need to move and clean it... that will be a several hour project. Other projects include painting the kitchen (but that would require us buy the paint today) then put up the tile backsplash, put molding up (but i need a new blade for the saw) so the fish tank is really the first priority on the house stuff.

5. I would love to take a load of junk to the dump. There are still construction materials out in the back yard from the renovation that need to be hauled off... but that is alot of physical labor and im waiting for a day where i can get help. Today isn't that day since Ralph is horseshoeing in the morning, when it needs to be done.

6. Spring cleaning... boy does this house need it. I will most definitely be avoiding this one today. I plan to do the usual cleaning... sweep the floors, clean the kitchen (its been a couple days since i touched it and ugh, it gets messy quick) I am a believer in flylady ( and i have my usual routines to keep the house presentable. That only takes a few minutes though. Maybe i will work on a plan where i can get these spring cleaning tasks done during the week, one task at a time.

7. Working on my quilts. Buck gave me some more jeans and i have to cut them up... i have been tackling this one pair of jeans a day.... I would like to start sewing the star quilt that im making Harley and Faith but the sewing machine needs to go to the repair shop, something is messed up with the tension... all i can work on today is cutting squares and i think i will stick to my one pair a day plan on that... so that is crossed off the list.

8. yard work... i would love to get on the riding mower and mow the yard, then weed eat and spend some time in the neglected flowerbeds... the mowing the yard, i think i will leave to buck... i need to buy string, gas and oil for the weed eater... probably wont spend that money this weekend... and the flowerbeds... they are a tad overwhelming... but... that would be a worthy project today!

9. I need to make some changes to one of our websites... we want to launch an idea we have... i really need to spend time on it so we can.

10. Organizing the ordering of stuff for the restaurant. We have 4 sources to get things and an order sheet for all of them is long overdue.

So i think that settles it... I'm going to clean the house (my usual routine stuff) then cook ralph and i breakfast, after that i will start tackling some of these things... paperwork, order sheets, the website, unpacking boxes and flower beds 15 min at a time until ralph gets home.... then i will take the truck and get my first load of stuff from the storage unit and put most of it away... then tonight maybe Ralph and i can do something together to relax and enjoy each others company... it seems like we're just ships passing in the night right now.

LOL... ive been having my fantasies of being a 'kept' woman... one who doesn't have to work and who has all the time in the world to accomplish these things. It really is just a fantasy... but one i indulge in occasionally when i feel a little overworked. I honestly don't have to work now... i could stay home and let other people do what i do... but i am too much of a control freak for that.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Does Not Live Well With Others

That disclaimer should be printed somewhere on me. I really don't live well with others and currently im living with my boyfriend, his adult son, the son's pregnant girlfriend and her three year old child. Now, one person, i can usually handle that, life gets into a rhythm and you can overlook those things they do that annoy you because you know they are overlooking the things you do that annoy them! What im having a problem with is the young family that lives here. It is not comfortable for me. They are great people, and i love them to death... i just wish they didn't have to live here!

If i had to go into what they do that bugs me, i would sound petty listing them... its more the compilation of the parts that is just driving me insane! For me its the kitchen, i clean up after them everyday and when they do clean up, they dont do it the way i do it so its almost as annoying as them not cleaning up. I realize for them thats a damned if they do damned if they dont so i dont say anything. I just clean the kitchen how i want it every morning, i can usually get it done while im cooking breakfast. For Ralph its the laundry, he does all of ours and he hates sharing a washer and dryer!

We both have a problem with them at night, i rarely get a good nights sleep either because they have friends over or are coming and going late at night. Last night at almost midnight i was still awake listening to them and their friends ignore the 3 yr old who should have been in bed.

I dont know... maybe the problems we are having with them is just a diversion from the real problems we should be worrying about. Ralph and I are both pretty stressed out about some financial decisions we have to make and its easier to be mad at them.

the problems were facing are all taxes.. you name it if its a tax we owe it right now and were sorting thru what we actually owe and how to pay it. I have faith that we will make it through this. We knew it was coming and we were just trying to get on top of it before it all hit the fan... but it seems like it is hitting all at once. We have spent a year avoiding it... time to face it.

That is what i have to do tonight... sort thru it and figure out what to do about it all. I work the day shift, ralph the night shift... so if the younger people will cooperate i will have all night to spread it out on the table and figure out how bad it really is and what to do about it. I guess that is the first step.

This morning, other than clean the kitchen... i see that buck left me three more pair of jeans i can cut up... im going to do that because its mindless and i can think thru this as i do it. Then off to work 10-4... then home to sort thru paperwork.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A New Blog

I used to blog daily on myspace... but for some reason myspace doesn't have the appeal to me it used to... i think life has changed too much and a new blog to go with this phase of my life seems appropriate.

A little about me... Im 41, live in the pineywoods of texas. I own a restaurant, i do a live radio show three times a week... what i love to do and dont get to do very often is quilt. Life seems busy and a whirlwind most of the time.... i like blogging because it helps me sort through it all and I use it as kinda a diary of my life.

I live with my boyfriend, which is a long story... we have been best friends for 6 yrs. I dont have any children, but he has 6... thats enough for both of us. they are all grown and there are 6 (number 7 on the way) grandchildren. Although this part of our relationship is new, I have been a part of this family for the last 6 yrs.... i view the grandkids as much mine as they are his. The younger kids call me Mimi.

That is pretty much what life is about... and im sure this blog will talk about all of them.. the hopes and dreams i have for the restaurant, for our life, for the radio show we do and well, im hoping i can find time to quilt and post pictures of that... and make some friends along the way.

So... this quilting thing... that is why i started this blog....

right now im working on Christmas presents. I decided that i want to make all the kids and grandkids quilts over the next two years. This year im focusing on all the sons and son in laws and all the grand kids. Its alot of quilting! lol. (13 quilts this year) I am making easy ones, kinda easing back into the quiting thing for this year. Next year I will make 6 quilts for the daughters and daughter in laws. I plan on putting more time and effort into those next year.

For the sons and son-in-laws I decided to make them all the same. I am making a scrappy denim quilt (the kinds where the seams are exposed on the denim side, flannel on the back.) I am in the process of cutting all the denim squares for it. Im making them lap size so 10X14 6" squares. That means i need 140 squares for each quilt or 840 total denim squares. I am at the point where i am buying old pairs of jeans at yard sales... but im getting close.

The picture is about 400 of the denim peices i need. I have cut about 100 more since the picture! I have cut about 30 pair up so far, most were old jeans of mine and ralphs that i have been saving.

I decided the flannel back would be the same on all 6. the texas flag... mostly because i cant find adult masculine flannel around here, there are all kinds of kids prints, but what happened to good ole plaid flannel? Ok, so i havent figured out how to attach the star on the flannel side, but i will figure it out.

As far as the grandkids. There are twin girls who are 5. I have already made the tops for their quilts, i will finish them by tying them with embroidery thread.
There are 3 boys who are all 3 years old (one grandchild, two step grandchildren) I plan on making them all the same quilt and i found a pattern with blocks that are trucks and cars that i plan to use.

For the oldest sons 2 daughters i plan on making identical quilts. One lives in alaska the other here in east texas. I thought it would be a nice connection for them to have the same quilt. This is the block that i plan on using. I am using fabrics that i have on hand, one way to use up what ive collected with my fabric addiction!

There will be one more baby before christmas... havent decided what to make for him yet.

Well, enough for now... more later i guess.